Colossal Middle Aged Blonde

I once opened some obnoxious woman’s lunch container and farted in it, then quickly closed the lid. I went to the other side of the room, and soon after she sat down to her lunch. She opened it and made a funny face when the smell got to her, but she ate it anyway. Would you eat a meal that smelled like shit?

I only did this to her because she was a bitch and would do things like switch people’s snacks for cat treats, and steal people’s lunches. I caught her doing it more than once. All I would do is walk into the cafeteria and she’d jump and immediately go red in the face. Then she’d get mad at me and accuse me of sneaking up on her or stalking her or whatever. She’s the last person I would ever want to follow, she was the epitome of middle aged blonde, extra shitty version DX, a complete bitch, so I made her eat ass vapors. Fuck she was so annoying, I think she was a little bit retarded or something. This shrill vibrating sound would come out of her mouth, I think it was supposed to be a voice? I couldn’t tell because it was always way louder than a normal speaking voice, kind of like an alarm made of buzz saws and air raid sirens. I’d be alright with it if it wasn’t constant.

I’m going to stop complaining now, I don’t want to fill my journal with too much negative vibes.