Worst Inventions Episode 1

Children's shoes that have wheels on the bottom so they can glide around. The last thing we need are children with the ability to glide. Kids already run around and smash into shit enough, gliding is more difficult to stop--don't misunderstand, I love it when kids smash into shit and hurt themselves, what I don't like is when I constantly get cut off by gliding pigmies screeching and drooling everywhere every time I feel like going for a walk.

Kids running around like idiots can be good in only one scenario, which is when the child in question does harm to itself, but especially if it throws up. One of the funniest things to me is when an idiot kid is running around screaming obnoxiously, and then it starts jumping up and down when all of a sudden it stops and looks slightly at the ground. It pauses a moment and it's mouth opens a tad and saliva drips out, it's eyes bulge in intense shock and confusion and then all the contents of it's stomach spew out violently 3 feet in front of them while they try to scream or make more noise but it's muffled due to all the food flying out of them. After this they're drained of all they're retard-strong energy and they behave much more decently.

All parents should inject their children with a syrem that will make the kid vomit as soon as it does too much rambunxious activity, just for my sake.