Yee Haw!

Saddam is dead.

That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is people's reaction to it. People are dancing around and making parody flash videos and happy songs about it. Plus they hanged him! Fuck. ing. hanged! Has everyone gone insane? Are we not supposed to be getting more civilized? Everyone's reaction was not far from shooting guns off in the air.

The Ladies Are Not Impressed

When I read someone's text I always get the feeling they're trying to sound extra macho in it. Like, on websites an' shit. To impress the ladies?

I just read through all of the older entries in this journal. Man, I'm a really big fag.

Haha, I think that may be a good thing. I also think that I do it on purpose. (Try to sound faggy in text.) I can't pinpoint when I first started typing the way I do but I do think that I purposely try not to sound macho because that's what everyone else does. I'm rebelling. Actually, I'm just crazy.

And gay.

Soup

When I'm sitting all alone, in the middle of the night at work, in my little 10x10 foot shack, in the dark, for 8 hours, I keep saying "soup" over and over again. I say it in an evil voice louder and more intensely evil each time. Then I pick up the pace, and picture close ups of soups in red lighting until I actually make myself feel afraid.

This is how I keep myself awake.

Zelda

..Zelllllldaaaa.

Favorite Radio Ad Part 2

*screamed in sexy turned on girl voice*

OH YES! CHICKEN WINGS! UNG! OH YEAH STICKY HONEY! THAT'S THE SPICES! OH! OH! KEEP GIVING ME THOSE CHICKEN WINGS! OH BABY! YEAH! I'M CUMMING BECAUSE OF CHICKEN WINGS! UGH PHHHSSHHHH! OOHHHHH! YES! YES! I AM HAVING AWESOME SEX WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT ME CHICKEN WINGS BECAUSE I AM AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE! YOU WON ME OVER! UGH! CHICKEN WINGS!

John

I really fucking hate John Tesh. He’s an idiot. Only idiots like his radio show. He steals all of “his” “intelligence for your life” from women’s magazines. Women’s fuckin’ magazines are not good sources for health tips, or scientific facts, which is what he tries to dish out. He usually talks about how not to be a fatty, which is stereotypically what stupid chicks worry over. But, he himself is fat. He’s a hypocrite. Fuck him. Seriously, would you take health tips from a borderline retard? He’s borderline retarded, as well, in case you didn’t know. Here’s four pieces of evidence:

Evidence that John Tesh is borderline retarded:

1. He is a Christian.
2. He pronounces “Mario” as “merry-oh”
3. He says video games are as bad as heroine
4. Look at the asshole's picture for more than 5 seconds
   

Fuckass. Due to these four pieces of evidence he can not be validly intelligent in anything he says. Here’s my favorite quote from his show. A nice soft music comes on and some woman’s voiceover says “Wanna live to be a hundred? Just keep listening to the John Tesh radio show”

UGH

Maybe if you want to live to be a hundred in FEAR of EVERYTHING. He supports all of the popular myths and gossips and fears that the typical media shoves down our food holes. Everything about his radio show is bad for society. He’s a goddamn Nazi too. If it were up to him he would enforce a complaining quota for the day for everyone. He wants to regulate all of our emotions and actions. Therefore he does not want people to be free. The show is for those slightly fat chicks that are still mad hot but think they’re hideous. They listen to this garbage plus all the other garbage just like it and lose their confidence. Don’t try to tell me they don’t, nearly every girl I’ve dated (or fucked around with) I’ve made sure they were one of those slightly fat wicked hot chicks (because I need a slightly bigger woman because I’m too much man to handle for tiny non cushion, fucking rank, sharp-assed, makeup covered bitches), and every single one of them has no self confidence due to their weight.

And it’s a radio station dedicated to SOFT ROCK. The pussiest genre of music ever.

Ever.

Fuck you, fuck John Tesh, and fuck anyone that listens to his aural sewage spew fests.