So Much Fun

Taken from the Nintendo website:

"Hold the Wii Remote firmly and do not let go. Even while wearing the wrist strap, make sure you don't let go of the Wii Remote during game play and do not use excessive motion. For example, in Wii Sports bowling, the proper way to let go of the ball while bowling is to release the "B" button on the Wii Remote—DO NOT LET GO OF THE Wii REMOTE ITSELF. If you are having so much fun that you start perspiring, take a moment to dry your hands. If you use excessive motion and let go of the Wii Remote, the wrist strap may break and you could lose control of the Wii Remote. This could injure people nearby or cause damage to other objects."

The bold text made me laugh.

GASP

OH NO MICHAEL RICHARDS SAID NIGGER.

Shock World

I'm going to make everything in existence have a hand buzzer on it. So morons can wander around and laugh moronically at each other all day and stop targeting me with those fuckin' things.

Anyone who hands me a hand buzzer item instantly loses all my trust in them for the rest of their life. Perhaps I'll take after my old media teacher and kick everyone who does that in the balls. Even if I see it done to someone else I'll kick the "trickster" in the balls. These things have got to stop, they were funny in the 1920s, give it up.

It makes people feel stupid for falling for it, so they have to do it to someone else to prove to themself that they're not stupid. Somehow this makes sense to people. It's that or they're just meanspirited assholes. The mean spirited ones like to say "I've never fallen for it" after 'tricking' you. Most of the time in a French accent, so it's more condescending.

Peel & Stick Knowledge

Mass produced education pisses me off. It made me hate everything that I enjoy now. Except video games I suppose. School made me fat, it never even allowed me to get any exercise. By the time I would get home from school I wouldn't feel like going out and running around because I woke up early that day for school and spent all day running around the school. School made me hate all sports, and too out of shape to enjoy trying them, until around last year. Now I enjoy certain ones and most of the other things it took from me, like reading, writing and art. One good thing is that it did teach me that humans are evil & retarded and that’s a lesson that should be learned very early in life to better prepare one for living on Earth.

I don't understand why you have to have a high school diploma to go to college/university because you pay for it! It's bullshit, it's all so elitist. "You have to endure 17 years of shitty education before we will even allow you to pay us 25,000 dollars to have a chance at maybe getting a piece of paper that means you can have a decent job. It doesn't matter if you're self educated and way better at what the job entails. You need this slice of tree to do it. Oh, and did we mention you don't get to have a social life either because of all the pointless exercises we'll be giving you? Oh, and plus you have to have a fulltime job on top of that, so say goodbye to sleep as well."

Huh

Weirdest thing; whenever I finish jerking off I have to listen to victory music.

Children Of Mana, More like.... Children of FAGNA

I bought Children of Mana for my Nintendo DS.

It’s one of the worst games I’ve ever played.

I buy a lot of games for my DS to keep me awake at work, this game only lulls me to sleep.

I fully believe that Square doesn’t care about making good games anymore because they know that they have title loyalty. They made Kingdom hearts 2 and Chain Of Memories as shitty as possible, and now they did it again with Children of Mana.

After a half an hour of lame poorly thought out dialogue I got to fight a bunch of the same enemies over and over by mashing the A button. Then I picked up this jewel thing and I got to go to another floor to do the same thing with a different map. I did that 5 times, and I got to the end. It gave me a score and let me equip stuff and ready myself for the boss battle and then because of the misleading menu screen in all of it’s fecal glory put me back at the start of the dungeon again. So I drudged my way back to the boss and pressed the other button that means the same thing as the one I pressed before that allows me to fight the boss. I beat the boss by mashing A. Then after a couple more minutes of shitty dialogue like: “Oh no! An Earthquake! I wonder what’s happening!” I did another dungeon exactly like this one except this one was blue and I got to mash the A button and X button. I made it to the boss and then I died in one hit, which means that I would have to do the same dungeon 2 or 3 times more before I could beat it. So I turned the DS off and wrote a note reminding me to bitch about how shitty it is on the internet, because it will do me a lot of good. I am so gonna put this is red text if I can!

Oh and: FUCK SQUARE ENIX. Yeah, that’s right. I said it.

Cavemen Enjoyed Eating Food More And Were Better Than Us Because They Did It First

Tess: Hey did you watch/see/read/check out that one movie/book/game/band it’s pretty sweet eh?

Amanda: Yes, a long time ago. I liked it before it was cool. Shnuh.

Tess: Oh…I guess you’re better than me.

Fuck imaginary Amanda and people like her. You’re not better than anyone, or more cool because you were one of the first to like Spongebob Squarepants or whatever.

It’s popularity has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve liked it longer. Pull your makeup covered head out of your bleached asshole.

Favorite Radio Ad

*Done entirely in sexy turned on girl voice*

Ooohh yeah….When I feel like being a good girl I eat chicken wings with honey and garlic.

Oh babe.

And when I’m a bad girl I…Eat chicken wings with hot sauce. Mmm yeah.