How I Got My Mediocre Job

I heard the story on how I got my job last shift.

So there was this guy before me, and he was an idiot, not many people liked him and he never did any work (not that security guards do work anyway) Any instance I've spoken with him he avoided speaking to me at all costs. He would do things like kick the wall for fun and mark it up with boot marks, make messes and break shit that everyone else uses.

One regular morning the plant manager's car broke down in the parking lot. The guard ignored it and continued to read and listen to the radio. Also, he was watching a movie on a mini DVD player. All at the same time. A bit of time went by and the plant manager came to the guard shack and the guard ignored him until he raised his voice. The manager told him that the white car license plate # whatever needed to be moved so the tow truck could tow his car away to be fixed. He pointed right to the car to be moved. The guard new which car it was that needed to be moved. All the guards that I work with know what everyone's car looks like, it's only the odd one we don't know. So then the guard went all over the factory looking for the owner of the car. He spent 4 hours looking for the person but didn't find them. So he retired to the guard shack and continued reading, watching and listening for about another hour when the manager showed up again and said to tow both the fuckin' cars away. After that the guard said "oh! ...that's my car." and it was. So then the manager lost it and screamed "Get the fuck in your car and get off the fucking property and don't come fucking back!"

So he did, and then communications called me up and told me to put my name in for the position.

I suspect he wanted to be fired to get on unemployment quicker, no one can be that stupid ...right?

Hmm, no. Wrong. I've worked at Blockbuster for a year. I should know better.