I Believe In Candy

When I was a kid I never quite understood anything that was going on. I understood how to do things, but never why they were happening or why I had to do them. For instance, back in the day my family used to be insane for get together type shit and would attempt to do something interesting for certain holidays. There was once an egg hunt sort of thing in my house. My entire family was wandering my house searching for cheap chocolate eggs. I wasn’t told why. This event confused the shit out of me. When I asked why we were doing this I was told a magical rabbit had placed chocolate eggs around my house for some reason. That was okay with me, free chocolate. I wasn’t going to complain. But still I questioned it. I asked why he did it, and I was told he did it because some other magic guy died a couple thousand years ago in a very terrible way, and apparently he was the son of an even MORE magic guy who created everything. And he was watching me. I think it was that exact moment I stopped trying to understand things and just accepted the candy and shut up until I was 12.

I Am Serious And Patriotic And A Good Person On TV Or Radio

Uhh...911. Uh, 911. The events on 911. uh, 911. 911 911 911 911. Horrific.... Terrorists. 911 911.
Osama Bin Laden. 911 911 911. Taliban.
911 911 911 911 911. Tragic....911 Heroic victims. 911 911. September. Eleventh. 911 911

911.

How I Got My Mediocre Job

I heard the story on how I got my job last shift.

So there was this guy before me, and he was an idiot, not many people liked him and he never did any work (not that security guards do work anyway) Any instance I've spoken with him he avoided speaking to me at all costs. He would do things like kick the wall for fun and mark it up with boot marks, make messes and break shit that everyone else uses.

One regular morning the plant manager's car broke down in the parking lot. The guard ignored it and continued to read and listen to the radio. Also, he was watching a movie on a mini DVD player. All at the same time. A bit of time went by and the plant manager came to the guard shack and the guard ignored him until he raised his voice. The manager told him that the white car license plate # whatever needed to be moved so the tow truck could tow his car away to be fixed. He pointed right to the car to be moved. The guard new which car it was that needed to be moved. All the guards that I work with know what everyone's car looks like, it's only the odd one we don't know. So then the guard went all over the factory looking for the owner of the car. He spent 4 hours looking for the person but didn't find them. So he retired to the guard shack and continued reading, watching and listening for about another hour when the manager showed up again and said to tow both the fuckin' cars away. After that the guard said "oh! ...that's my car." and it was. So then the manager lost it and screamed "Get the fuck in your car and get off the fucking property and don't come fucking back!"

So he did, and then communications called me up and told me to put my name in for the position.

I suspect he wanted to be fired to get on unemployment quicker, no one can be that stupid ...right?

Hmm, no. Wrong. I've worked at Blockbuster for a year. I should know better.

Cousin html

I fucking hate myspace. It's the worst website on the internet. If it didn't bring in traffic to my site I wouldn't have to deal with it's garbage coding at all, and that would be wonderful.

There has not been a single time of me using myspace where I haven't gotten the error page. It constantly tells me I need to sign in to be able to sign in. It gives me the error page for every action I do, and then works just fine if I wait 5 minutes and do the exact same fucking thing.

Who wrote the code for myspace? Someone's cousin?

Clusterpuss

It feels like there's too much for me to do. I don't think it's a bad thing, but I'm starting to think it's not always a good thing either. Most of it is fun to do, and I want to do it. A lot of it is site related. I have so much to do for the sites. There are 2 pages of things to be done for my sites; a few of the things on the list are huge projects like new websites. I just finished my art site the other day, Adroitly Ludicrous.

I get to do all the things I'd like to do, I suppose. I think it's laziness that's stopping me from doing the things I don't get to do, but want to. Laziness always wins. I think the list is so big due to that evil fucking crewshot I did which took an inhuman amount of time to complete. I should probably give it some time before I start worrying about having too much to do. The list will dwindle soon enough I'm sure now that the crewshot is done. Fucking evil crewshot.

Alternate Universe

This sore throat has gotten to the point where I can't sleep. I have nightmares every night because of it, while not actually sleeping. Last night I thought I was in an alternate dimension made entirely of broken wood and pieces were stuck in my throat. The night before I envisioned radar with throbbing red dots all over it and I had to scrape them off. when I sat up this morning there was so much sweat on my bed it was soaked. Literally soaked. With sweat. It shouldn't be, I have a fan going and the window open. It's winter weather for fucks sake! Then I started thinking I was seeing creatures from other dimensions on my bed with me, while I was awake. Most of them looked like hairs with fat bodies...if that makes sense. I got really freaked out and wanted to go back under the covers but that's where the bed was soaked so I had to sit on top of the blankets naked all curled up and freezing. I can't handle much more of this. This needs to stop.

Thanks

You know how when a plane crashes the black box that filmed the crash always survives? Why don't they build the whole plane out of black box? You know, just to shut everyone up and make them stop saying that joke. Build a fuckin' plane out of black box, then crash it.

But make the camera be encased in titanium (what planes are made of I believe) and when you pick up the titanium box from the crash site shoot everyone who's said that joke the finger.

Lemons

Man, if I had a vagina I would keep snacks in there, like a bag of chips. You could keep a snack in there to save it for later. Or hide things. Why do girls use purses? Just stuff all that junk in your vagina.

My Physical Health = :(

I have the sorest throat ever. It's been sore for about 6 days now, getting worse by the day. It made work unbearable last night (because of all the dust) so I'm not going back until it's gone for good. I went to the clinic today hoping to get the kind of pills that will just knock me out.

I hate the clinic, fuck that place. It's just a series of different rooms which you wait in. I think Seinfeld explained it the best. You sit and wait with the sick people, then your number is called, then they register you. After that you go back to waiting with the sick people. It's terrible; the space is so enclosed so everyone can share their germs. After sharing germs you go wait in a smaller room. Then the big moment arrives and the doctor looks in my throat and says "ahh, that's awful! gargle with salt 4 times a day and take the antibiotics" so then I leave and have to wait for him to come back out to sign the doctors note. Which I need to prove to work I'm illin, because they're scumbags. They should have to pay for the note, not me. I don't understand the logic in that "oh you're sick and losing money from not going to a shift? Plus you have to pay for medication? Oh, alright, well you better pay 10 more dollars on top of that because we're scumbags. It'll be alright, just don't eat tomorrow" They don't realize how shittily they pay me or something. So after I get the note I have to wait more for the prescription to come through. Fuck.

Lousyness

Drunk people really shouldn't drive. The sober populace can't fuckin' drive decently as it is.

Or maybe we should all drive drunk and have a giant destruction derby. City-wide, no--Worldwide. Let's not even give anyone a chance to let us all be destroyed by nukes or cancer or aids, we'll destruction derby like fuck til' we're all dead!

Sound like fun?

Flash

My dearest is going to come over tomorrow and take an actual good picture of me for this site. She'll pick me an outfit and everything.

Then give me a BJ. Then we'll probably eat pie.

Best. Relationship. Ever.

For Fucking Shit's Sake.

Why does setting sites like these up have to involve such a great deal of bullshit? I just spent about 2 hours setting this one up.

Okay. The purpose of this journal will be for me personally. Unlike the other one I have which is for Evvieco (the best site on the internet) Much like the other journal I will make posts off the top of my head and ramble on, but it won’t be as entertaining. This journal will also be for honing typing skill and writing skill, and when I get a printer/scanner I'll be posting my shitty sketchbook artwork on here too.

Annnnnnnnd I suppose it's time I had a personal journal. So everyone that's nosey as fuck can now know me without me knowing them. Hopefully insane bitches don't fall in love with me and stalk me er nothin' If they do I’d like to have them know this: If you ever rummage through my trash, you can take the whole bag home with you and inspect it calmly and thoroughly in your own home, don’t just open the bag or make a hole in it or whatever and then take off, it makes a mess and it’s rude.